Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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