ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
