he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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