I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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