Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
