he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
