We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
