I got chris browned last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
