you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ttyl tear gas
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
