if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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