he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months