Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.