we have pet lesbian snakes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize