Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
