I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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