It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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