I should be sponsored by Trojan
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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