He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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