i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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