We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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