So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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