i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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