Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
