I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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