9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
