i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh god it's open bar.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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