After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
