cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
