I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
