I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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