Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
