Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
