either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
