I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this is an emotional support booty call
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
