Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
