Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
