It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
