That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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