after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
