She went from zero to smokin in five shots
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize