In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize