I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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