just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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