Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
