Christians are straight up FREAKS
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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