Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i out mim tonsoeep
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