This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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