There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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