Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
