Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sorry my hands just texted you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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