hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
