I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
