A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
