I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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