I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
